You are worthy of love and belonging
Brene Brown - love the woman. One of my fav biggest take-aways from her work is that her research has shown that the difference between people who feel a sense of love and belonging and those that do not is down to one variable: the capacity to believe one is worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. Those that know they are worthy of love and belonging feel a sense of love and belonging. Those that do not, don’t. I imagine this also works in degrees, as on a spectrum as most things do - it certainly seems to in my own life - that the DEGREE to which you know you are worthy of love and belonging is directly related to the DEGREE to which you experience love and belonging.
And it’s not a “when I accomplish ____ I will be worthy of love and belonging”. It’s right now. In the ever-messy, transient and swarming present. It’s most importantly in the present. To remind ourselves that we are utterly imperfect and that’s okay. We’re all in the same boat.
Two things - first, I use this as a tool to find compassion for others. When looked at through this lens it’s not hard to see sometimes that you are dealing with a person who potentially lacks a felt sense of worthiness. And that’s tragic.
Second - after learning this, for about a year and a half almost everyday, I would write the sentence: “If I knew that I was worthy of love and belonging right now, exactly as I am I would...” and then I would list the first five things that occurred to me. Try it! It was jarring to be able to see what would be different in my life, in my body, in ME were I more greatly in touch with my own innate worthiness. And the opening that perceptive shift granted me began to shift my life.
• You ARE worthy of love.
• You ARE worthy of belonging.